Go to my other blog
I won’t be continuing this blog. I kinda like wordpress, but I’m just so far gone on my other blog that it’s winning my attention. Here’s the link: http://jessie-goose.blogspot.com/
The Finer Things Club
*There’s not a lot of purpose to this post. It’s more like, I haven’t posted in like 4 days and it’s late and I just want to post something. So don’t expect too much.
I have always felt this need in my life to be classy. I didn’t grow up in a wealthy home, but we were well cared for and even most of our wants were met (within reason). But I’ve always been exposed to the highest standards when it comes to the arts. My mother loves fine literature, my dad obsesses over classical and religious music, my aunt who I saw often loves fine art. I even attended an art school in 7th grade, with an emphasis in music. Throughout all this, I have also developed an appreciation for good theatre, dance productions, and I am pretty picky about my movies, pop music, and light reading. I appreciate things from centuries past; tried and true, and I also love to see and hear and partake of up-and-coming artists.
If you have ever participated in an orchestra or ensemble that is GOOD, or sung in a choir or congregation that is GOOD, then you know that feeling which I can’t begin to describe in words. I haven’t felt it in a long time, but for those reasons, I would never fully abandon music because of the way I have felt music throughout my entire body as I’m creating it. It’s un-earthly, magical, surreal. A natural high.
I haven’t been the best at picking up my flute in recent years. It got harder in college when I was majoring in something else and had other demands on my time. Then I was a teacher, and now finally, I’m just rusty. Sometimes I still pick it up and if I do that for a few days in a row, I can play some of my hardest pieces and feel pretty good about things. I’d love to get back into the habit, but I admit, I see a lot of bumps in the road (literally, bumps. Ya know, like baby bumps).
My husband and I took an art class when we were dating. It was so cool that we shared that part of our personalities with each other when usually our interests are so separate (although we really do love to share with each other). We frequent plays and concerts and have read books together. This love of the arts is something I definitely want to pass on to my children.
There are a lot of other ways that entail my idea of being classy. But participating and loving the fine arts is definitely up there for me.
The practicalities of being a lady
Something I feel I’ve been dealing with lately (and when I say lately, I mean my whole life), is my hair. I actually think I’m lucky and have pretty nice hair. I like my natural color, it’s a nice texture, and I keep it trimmed pretty regularly. So what’s the problem, you ask?
I hate DOING my hair. There’s a whole laundry list of reasons behind this, first and foremost is that I am NOT a morning person and tend to sleep in until the last possible second when I really do have to get up and ultimately shower quickly and resort to a bun or maybe a braid. Gross. Especially more than two days in a row. And since my hair has gotten longer, I’ve started letting it air-dry…yikes. You will be happy to know I will not leave the house without make-up, but that’s another post.
I also don’t really know what to do with it. Straightening is easy, but I don’t really love the look when my hair is as long as it is. Curling it is getting better since my hairstylist showed me some tricks, but that takes a lot more effort and planning.
The last week or two, I’ve decided to get up one hour earlier so I have time to actually get fully ready in the morning. Do you know how many times I’ve done my hair this week? ONCE. Fail. (I admit it’s because I have a bad habit of getting on the computer first thing instead of hopping in the shower. Oops.)
I’d like to be more inventive with my styles. I recently went out on a major limb and got straight across bangs. I have a cowlick smack dab in the middle of my forehead, so it was a bold move. It worked out ok; other people like them, I’m not really crazy about them, but I DO like the change. I also branched out and dyed my hair. Before you get too impressed, realize that I used a 28 wash-out dye and I think it’s pretty much gone. I didn’t love the color, but sometimes my own color is too bland, ya know? (even though I naturally have a lot of different colors in my hair.)
But lately, I’ve noticed I have gotten down on myself for not feeling very attractive. I think not doing my hair is one of the main causes for this. So I re-pledge to do my hair everyday. And to have a little self-control and not get on the computer. Then hopefully I will feel more like this:
Here’s hoping.
Heroes
Ok, let me sappy and maybe even typical for a minute and explain. Everyone I’m sure has a hero or many heroes. For most girls, it’s probably their mother or their grandmother. For most boys, their father or grandfather. I’m not any different, but I will say that I think that is why we are placed in families in the first place. We are meant to be each other’s heroes. So is it sappy and typical? Yes. But is it absolutely wonderful? YES. On another day, I’ll share my views on family, but I’ll just say that today.
Since this is a blog about becoming ladylike, I will periodically post my female heroes. I have many heroes, I do. But top on my list is my mother. There’s a special bond between mothers and their children; I know that if I really need to talk to someone, she will listen and be sad with me, or happy with me or whatever the emotion I need. Even though I’m grown-up and have been for quite awhile now, I still like to call my mom when I’m sick because I just want her to know (anyone else? I usually feel better after she knows. It’s so weird). I guess I just want the sympathy and USUALLY she’ll dish it out. 
I have no doubt in my mind that she wants me to be happy and wants the best for each of her five children, and also her grandchildren.
Here’s a little background on why my mom is my hero:
She was born into a family with one older sister and two parents. When she was 2 or 3 (can’t remember), her parents split and she never saw her father again until she was grown up, and even then only once or twice. The rest of her childhood was very rocky; my grandmother dated and married a few men (yeah, I said married a few), they moved a LOT, she was around alcohol and smoking (and probably drugs, but I don’t know for sure). She did not get along with her sister very well and was picked on quite a bit from her because she was a very shy child. I know she had a lot of experiences that were very traumatizing and I’m sure I haven’t heard the worst of it (I have an idea of a couple things). Luckily, even though my grandmother was dragging her through her own problems, my mother knew that she was loved. My Grandma Pat loved her (her mother), and the majority of the time they lived close enough to my great-grandparents who loved her and spent a lot of time with her.
When my mom was 19, her sister who had already gotten married and had one or two kids joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My Aunt Jan invited her to their baptism and that’s the first experience my mom had with the LDS church. When she was younger, she and her friends used to go to different churches, and I think her mother occasionally went to the Methodist church. So religion was not necessarily new. My mom said she always enjoyed church more than her friends and took it more seriously. So something rocked the boat when she went to that baptism. In an article my mom wrote for a church magazine, she said, “It all seemed so good, a better life. There didn’t seem to be any sense to the life I was leading, and I wanted to be a better person.”
Needless to say, my mother also joined the church and it completely changed her life and lifestyle. She gave up many things for something she truly believed in; she ended things with a boyfriend she previously thought she would marry, she quit smoking, she went to church regularly, she changed many habits and the way she looked at the world and her purpose in life. A couple years later, she met my dad and they were married and have continued to live this lifestyle and raise 5 children to do the same.
This post is not meant to be a religious one (look for those later ). I just wanted to point out that my mother was brave enough to change the only way she knew how to live and now lives a much higher standard. She wanted to be better, and she did what was necessary to do that. That has always been such a great and powerful example to me to want to continue to better myself everyday. My mom is like that in other ways too; she went back to college as an adult and finished her degree. I mean when she was in her 50s (even after I, her 4th child, had finished my own college degree). A lot of people could have said, what’s the point? She already had so much life experience. But it was important to my mom, and you know what? It has opened doors for her already. Plus, I like saying that both my parents are college graduates. It’s like bragging about your parents, instead of parents bragging about their kids. Before finishing school, my mom was always taking classes or involved in groups for writing (her hobby of choice). She loves learning and growing and improving. That’s definitely had a major influence on her children, and her husband.
My mom is my hero because she loves us and doesn’t care if we make fun of her for getting emotional about it. She cries every time one of her children leave (for extended periods). She even cries at the thought of it. My mom is my hero because she pretty much doesn’t care what other people think about her in general. I know this because she can be quite embarrassing in public, and she doesn’t bat an eye about it. I’d like to have more confidence like that so I don’t care as much about what other people think.
My mom is my hero because she was an excellent mother. She spent oodles of time with us, took us to the library, read with us, taught us things our teachers couldn’t, took us to museums, cultural events, exposed us to other views in the world, but “religiously” taught us her own views. She tried really hard to teach us to work, and even though I’m still pretty lazy, I appreciate the effort. She was always kind to others and served as the president of our church women’s organization TWICE (much to her family’s dismay).
Do you see that I could go on and on? My mom is great. I bet she’s your hero now too. I love my mom very much and I’m so glad that she is my mother. She truly taught me what it means to be a hero AND a lady.
A Lady in Training
There comes a time in every girl’s life where she must decide to grow up and become a woman. My time is long past, but sometimes I still feel myself longing for my girlish days and feeling not quite ready for all that lay before me in womanhood. Fear, you ask? Possibly. Laziness? Probable.
I feel a little intimidated by what my personal vision of being a lady is. I realize that a lady could take many forms and have many different attributes; in other words, there is no hard and fast rule as to what makes a woman a lady. But I’m slowly forming the ideal lady I would like to be in my head. Of course, it will probably always be the ideal and I’ll always be working towards it, and that’s ok. But I’d like to officially start my path on becoming the lady I hope to be.
There are some who may say being a lady is old-fashioned, out of date. I disagree. I may not sit and drink tea in my fluffy pink dress with my pink parasol (in fact, I don’t drink tea and don’t intend to pick up the habit). To me, a lady possess certain qualities and is every bit as modern as smart phones, Facebook, DVR’s, and my personal favorite…Google Reader. I think our society could use a few more ladies and less…well, let’s just say we could use some more poise and sophistication and grace in this world.
My personal vision of the lady I would like to become includes, but is not limited to (I reserve every right to add to this list as I go along):
- A woman with a moral compass
- Confidence in who she is
- Someone who reaches out to others
- A woman who takes care of herself physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and otherwise
- Seeks adventure and takes risks (Is that ladylike? It will be here.)
- Maintains a positive attitude as much as possible (I PMS, ok? Sometimes it’s not possible.)
- This is very personal to who I am, but continue to seek after excellence in music, art, and the finer things in life
- Become the wonderful wife and mother I have always dreamed about
I’m sure I could go on and on, but the beauty of a blog is I can do that! That is my very general vision of what makes a lady. It’s an uphill battle, but I’m ready to train and go through lady boot-camp if necessary. Luckily, I have an entire lifetime to develop myself into who I would like to be. And so, this journey begins. I may stumble along the way, but I will have to learn to pick myself up like a lady and carry on with as much grace as I can muster, and hopefully with a smile. Wish me luck.
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Jessica
jessie-goose
